感恩

2 simple words. but it carries a lot of meaning.

i've never said these words before, truly. it never occured to me before to use this word as a verb. just shows how bad a Mandarin language student i really am.

i don't think i am qualified to say those words. considering how capable i am in making a muck of communicating deep meanings with spoken words, it might not sound sincere to the other who's listening. but it's also because i rarely say these things without meaning it sincerely. so the words never came to my mind to say it.

but for some people, the words come easily for them.

have i ever felt the true depth of these words? i'm not exactly sure myself. coz the meaning of this 2 words is now fuzzy to me. some people use it so easily that i now don't know what it truly means anymore.

i think my own definition of 感恩 is different from theirs (which explains the confusion). i think it is a strong feeling that emerges deep from the bottom of your heart. a feeling that can't be described with just words. a feeling that is followed by sincere expressions of the word through subtle actions, "language", and "energy". no matter how many times you stress or say the word 感恩, if the other person don't feel all that, it means nothing to them and they'll think that you're faking it.

at least that's how i think it is anyway.