Waiting

waiting for something, anything, is a difficult process.

no matter why you choose to wait, i think it all happens for a reason, of the divine intervention kind.

and when the time comes, when the opportunity comes, be it right or wrong, it's an answer to all the waiting you've done.

so what if the end is not what you envisioned it to be.

so what if it doesn't work out the way you want it to be.

so what if you get all kinds of crap from other people just because you chose to wait.

in the end, you get answers to the waiting, and more.

looking back at all the waiting, evaluating, you discover more about yourself. your fears, your courage; your weaknesses, your strength; your setbacks, your support and allies; your fantasies, your dream.

isn't that more important? no matter how the end turned out to be.

and with all that, you'd get other ideas, ideas to improve your plans and yourself, to do more.

you'll get to see yourself clearer, discover sides of you that you were not aware of, discover things about yourself that you didn't want to see and accept.

and you'll get to see your surroundings, how you interact with them, how they respond to you, and realize that they're all part of the mirror in showing you what's most important to you, what made you who you are.

to me, the hardest part is not the beginning nor the end. it's the waiting that occurs in whatever stage i'm in. 

coz everytime, it shows me things that are hard for me to swallow.

and it's difficult to decide when the waiting should end, especially when you've become too comfortable with waiting.

and sometimes, when you've decided that you're done waiting, circumstances don't permit you to because the timing isn't right. and then you have no choice but to wait some more.

it's a delicate balance, to wait or to take action.

either way, it takes a lot of guts (and desperation) to do either.