Still anxious. Still scared. Still unwilling.
Though I've pretty much decided. Though I've begun to accept it. Though I've begun preparing myself for the storm ahead.
I'm still confused.
Am I making the right decision? Will I have the chance again? Will I get that scholarship next time? Will I be able to leave this place behind?
But I do realize that this is a great learning opportunity. That I don't trust myself enough to have the same attitude to be humble enough when I get that qualification. That with more time and experience, by stretching myself, I will have a higher chance of getting it.
I just need to be patient. And very very very focused on the bigger picture, the greater goal.
I just wish that I could find a way to release all these pent up anger, frustration, fear and anxiety. Now.
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