How I feel about the reports

Well, being outspoken and frank and opinionated really is trouble. I've learnt to prettify my words, but it's not enough. I've learnt to be diplomatic, but it's not enough. I've tried to mask my feelings, but it's not enough. Especially when it's something I feel strongly about.

I could be really objective sometimes. Until others think I'm too stiff and un-fun. But I am also very emotional a lot of times. Sometimes so heart-driven that I couldn't see past that emotional wall. And end up saying things I regret most of the times.

I don't think I was that emotional that time, in fact I was quite objective. But I guess I used the wrong channel. But when you don't have any other options, how do you get people to understand your point of view? You ask me to talk it out, but do you give us that opportunity?

and to be honest, I wrote that with respect and concern for the good of the organisation. Well, I guess I'm the only one who thinks so. And it's unfortunate that they couldn't see that. It's even more disappointing that they interpreted it as disrespect from me.

Oh well, a lesson learnt. A lot of people couldn't take having weaknesses spelled out for them. And accept them with grace. And don't express your opinion about their loved ones unless they say so themselves.
I'm not saying I could do that with grace. But I do listen and evaluate and take notes. Which is what I'm doing right now. And I do value their opinion, coz it helps me grow as a person. And maybe push me further into my protective shell once more. Well, maybe not so bad. I just won't show this side of me to you next time. And when you ask my opinion, you'll get a more general answer. Since I think it's what you want.

Anyways, I've always written the reflective report as honestly as I possibly could. Coz well, it was supposed to be reflective. Duh. But it seems now I couldn't do that anymore. Oh well, that just means I won't have to put so much effort into it. And it'll be much shorter.

And I regret that. Coz they were a testament to my work and my growth.

I'll just come back to blogging then. Where it's just me. And I could say whatever shit I want.