Assignments.
I'm not very good with deadlines (read: procrastination).
And I'm not good at reading. And then summarising.
I do highlighting or underlining. Not notes. Damn I have to. Coz I just realised what a pain in the neck it is to know you've read it somewhere but can't remember where the source is.
And writing in formal language. Damn that's so exhausting. Wouldn't have felt this way had I not received that evaluation on my writing. I have always been confident with how I write. Even research papers. But now I'm so conscious of the words I use and sentence structure for fear of sounding too colloquial and verbose, the vocabulary is not flowing out naturally.
And fact that it was 4 years ago since I last read academic papers regularly doesn't help.
And my ambition to achieve is putting pressure on me. Always does in the beginning of semesters. And then it takes a toll on my "stamina" then I don't do as well as I wanted to. Didn't know how to manage my stress and expectations and pace.
I don't want that again. Not this time. Not that it's a must, no one is pressuring me like that, well maybe myself, just that I want to break off from this cycle.
I want to know I did my best and learned a lot from the process. And enjoy while I'm at it. Whatever the results, whatever it will be. It's just that I want to know for sure that I did my best.
So this is student life.
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