Turning 28

And the big 3 is creeping up.

Honestly I don't feel the sense of being 28. Rather I still feel like I'm 23/4. Not sure why but it's as if my 25/6/7 felt floaty. If that makes sense.

Never felt the substantiality of my mid-twenties. As if my mind just got stuck in 23 ish. Not even sure if I've lived the past few years as a 23-year-old or whatever age I was.

Maybe coz I'm away from my "reality". Maybe coz I always get recognised as someone much younger. (High schooler!?  Do I look like kiddos of the day? I'm not flattered if that's what you're aiming for)

Or because I'm always with kids. I do have to agree, being with kids do affect you to be child-like.

Anyways, officially turned 28. When some become wives and mothers. And I am still single, a status that has not changed since birth. I'm just glad I'm not being pressured into relationships, though the occasional "well-meaning" questions do make me wonder about the kind of partner I'd be.

I haven't got a fat bank account either. When some have already made quite a bit for a life of comfort. And here I am, still using and eating what my dad earned.

Some might consider me a "nobody", looking at "what's on paper". But I know that I have been very very very blessed to be brought to this point of my life. And I'm very pleased with the decisions I've made in my life which made me who I am today.  They're not all right, but I'm grateful for the way they shaped me.

I am not worried about turning 30. Only for the fact my biological clock is ticking if I'm going to have kids of my own, which I very much doubt will happen. I feel at peace about it, really.

I don't have a list of things I wanna achieve by 30. I don't have maturity milestones to reach. I don't put myself into mindsets of the majority and subscribe to following those "footsteps". Sometimes yes, because it's only inevitable for social creatures to do so.

I do wish I am not so financially dependant on my dad though. I do wish to provide for them as they have for me. But I am ready to take on other responsibilities of taking care of them. Very much.

Will I regret not having fallen in love or being in a relationship when I was "young, wild, and free"? (I wasn't wild, I wasn't free) When I was a young little thing, idealistic and fearless in the face of harsh reality, ready to take on the world?

Maybe. But it's an experience I never knew and will never know. And I'm not out to find out.

I do wish I'd have loosened up more. Being uptight and serious is tiring sometimes. Well anyways, I'm making up for lost opportunities now XD.

Ah hah! That's it!!

No wonder I feel like I haven't grown into a 28-year-old!!!!

Lololol