emotionally strung

So I guess I only post sth of me when I'm down. Yeah well.

A lot of things happened since the year began.

More changes at work. Which means more stress. Which I think has led to poor quality of sleep. Which I think is also affecting my appetite. And why I'm so cranky and emotional these days.

Embraced a new faith. Learning to love God. Learning to feel Him in my life. Learning to accept Him as a constant. Learning to embrace Him as the purpose in what I do. Learning to accept His grace and mercy.

Reconnecting with old classmates, old friends. Building new friendships. But at the same time feeling a certain loss with some other.

Navigating ticking time bombs here and there. Feelings of muted euphoria when things seem picture perfect. The sense of panic when I seem to veer off track. The relief when I barely saved myself. The frustration, anger, confusion, sense of failure, when things don't happen as I pictured them to be.

I wonder if I have bipolar. The muted kind.

Caught in this emotional yo-yo.
I hate it. Hate it.

Too much.
Enough.
Let's stop.