my back

i could barely walk without pain on tue. didn't even feel like going to the loo coz it was just too painful. i couldn't even laugh or cough coz it hurts. even the act of going to lie on the bed was killing me.

this is the worst injury i've had over the years.

went to the chinese doc the next day. he said this time the nerves were injured. damn.

it was really painful when he used his qigong on me. and i cried. yeah..no use trying to pretend to be strong when it's perfectly normal to cry when i'm in pain. and remorse.

coz i didn't take good care of my body and brought my family worries and troubles.

i don't know whether this is the best treatment method. though i feel much better now. though i believe in the doc's treatment method (not necessarily his words), coz it's the most non-intrusive method. 

now, i can walk almost naturally. i can bend my legs. i can laugh or cough without feeling pain in my back. i can bend down and stand back up almost naturally.

i hope and pray that this treatment is successful. i wanna walk and jump and twist and turn and bend and roll like i used to. 

but i know that i do need back strengthening exercises and to learn how to use them back muscles without inflicting more injury on them.