WGM

during the past month and a half, it has become my main escape from reality. when it felt difficult to continue with my thesis writing, i visited forums, watched videos, and read fanfics. especially those of the YongSeo couple.

it has become sth of an addiction of mine, lurking in YongSeo dedicated forum on some large international Hallyu online community. even my sis can't stand it. i realized my attachment long before she pointed out the pointlessness of my habit.

but, i just found it hard to stop doing it every single day. i tried, but failed obviously, coz i'm still doing it. though i'm just speed reading just for the sake of doing sth with my hands, and distracting my mind. though honestly i'm starting to get sick of the forum.

jz goes to show how hard it is to kick bad habits. plus, i can't summon up the energy to rid myself of this habit now, with this damned thesis still within my hands. and since this addiction is my main stress outlet for now, i don't have serious problems with it yet, as it's not really affecting what i'm doing. jz challenges my stupidity.

i like watching this show. i don't care if it's scripted all the way or not. i don't care if i disagree immensely with its concept. i don't care if i have major issues with the things portrayed in the show. coz it's feeding some sort of unrealistic fantasies that i have about celebrities' relationships. it's kinda nice you know, to see sth happen on tv when in reality the chances are rare.

as aware as i am that this is all just a show, and i treat it as such, i.e. drama, i really don't like how the production team is playing with people's feelings. be it that of the individuals starring in the show, or audiences'. especially disillusioned viewers who like to fantasize and overanalyze everything they see onscreen to justify the authenticity of the couples' relationship, and also their disillusioned minds.

and then the media isn't of much help either. constantly flashing the limelight on the onscreen couples' relationship. creating speculations that they might be real. and the couples obliged. fanning stronger wind to the blazing fire. scorching those caught in the fire. no wonder fans continue to be disillusioned.

i guess this is the problem with showbiz. Korean showbiz. image is everything. packaging is everything. living up to that image and package, to keep people interested in you, so you don't go out of business. even if it's a painful farce, you still keep it, to keep that rice bowl of yours.

no wonder i've been more fascinated with rockers, 4-dimensional type of people all this while. they just throw societal expectations out the window. and speaking of rockers, i really wanna go to a rock concert. preferably Nickelback and Coldplay.

as much as i love Korean language, as much as i love Korean culture, as much as i love Korean variety shows, as much as i love 동방신기, SuJu, and BoA, as much as i like Korean music (note: music, not K-Pop. it's a mess nowadays with autotunes and massive influx of idol groups with similar faces and ridiculously young age. bleh), and as much as i love K-dramas, what i'm seeing in Korean showbiz is irking me. clashes so much with my values.

i've started losing interest in all this K-pop hoo-hah ever since that thing with 동방신기 began. took away half of my enthusiasm, and the magic. the main reason i'm still attached right now, is SuJu, K-drama, the language, the variety shows and...the hope that 동방신기 will end their hiatus and reunite. so yeah, i'm attached, but not that interested anymore.

but one thing is for sure, they're my escape. for now. i know what it does for me. i know what role it plays in my daily life. i'm aware of the fact that it's entertainment, 예능. i just wish i could be more disinterested.

and start doing sth more constructive.