Well, at least I think academic world is not for me.
I am not working out the writeup deadlines very well.
I go into panic mode at the thought of getting feedback from supervisor.
I don't like writing academic papers.
I don't even like reading them.
I don't like knowing that the grade I get might not reflect the impact it had on me.
Well maybe I should just go wth about the grades. Coz really, it doesn't prove much.
I don't like doing research. I like doing the work. I like hindsight. Not foresight.
I don't like justifying whatever I've done with what other people have done. I like picking at gaps and trying to make sense of things that seem relevant though.
I don't like critiquing my own work. Coz it crushes my confidence. And it always feel like it's never good enough. But it never is good enough.
I'm going mad here. Stress and fear of failure is a deadly concoction for my sanity.
I'm glad it's only a week left till this writing madness is over. And another month until this whole journey wraps up.
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