Projection of the Biggest Mistake

This will be the biggest joke ever. It's not funny, but it's a joke nonetheless.

It all happened on a fine day which us cousins were supposed to spend a good time at MidValley.
This woman came and spoiled our mood, but it was a valuable experience for us. And I hope she has learned her lesson.

Five of us were having lunch at this Korean food joint in The Gardens. When we were having our lunch, this girl (about 9 or 10 years old) behaved out of the ordinary, i.e. suddenly shouts loudly, suddenly grab something on the table and meaning to throw it away. And you can hear the adults on the same table with her reprimand her, telling her to "stop that", or "cannot do that".

Naturally, I am curious, whether she is a special needs child. A few minutes later, the two aunties' conversation confirmed my suspicion (I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but given that we were sitting so close, I was bound to hear what they were saying anyway. And especially when there's the keyword "Special Needs").

Then when we all finished our food and were waiting for mt to do the same, I told Grace about what I observed and overheard. Halfway through, this woman came over to our table and started scolding/accusing:

"Don't look (or stare, I don't remember) at her like that. She is a special needs people. If you have a special needs child, you will understand how it feels!!"

And then she stalked back to her table and sit on her own chair.

The funny and outrageous thing was, she wasn't even scolding/accusing us (me and Grace). She directed her anger towards my brother. My Brother. 


Two seconds into her outburst, I realized who she was talking to. Then, rage poured into my whole being. My chest was really burning hot with frustration, anger, and rage.

I don't know how I did it, but I turned over to the direction of their table, smiled and said calmly:

"I'm sorry, but my brother (pointing to him) is actually a special needs child. He likes to look around. I'm sorry if his staring offended you, but he's naturally curious and likes to look around."

The other woman, replied that she understands, and that it's ok, repeatedly.
And the woman who fired at us (or rather my brother), just hung her head and zipped her mouth.

They didn't even apologize for their mistake.

A few minutes later, we left quietly and calmly, with rage burning inside. But not before adding a couple of comments about the unfair treatment we went through previously, among ourselves of course.

***
I feel wronged. I feel offended. I feel sorry for her and the child.
Actually, I'm not sure whose child the girl was, the outrageous woman or the nicer one. Didn't pay enough attention.

What the woman just showed the world, I think, is what she herself really feels. She has yet to accept and embrace the child for who she is. She has yet to fathom that not everyone on this planet understands that special needs people are different. She has yet to reach the stage where she doesn't have to give a damn about how other people look at her child. She has yet to realize that scolding people to make people understand doesn't do the trick, and explanation does.

I don't know how she feels after this afternoon's episode. I don't wanna guess. I hope she realizes what had just transpired. I hope she learns her lesson.

She really chose the wrong-est person to scold ever. Or exactly the right person.
If it was another person, things could turn wrong; things wouldn't turn for the better for her, or for the other person.

No matter how wrong that person is for staring at the child, regardless whether they're "special", "normal", young or old, scolding or accusing them is not the way. You don't get the message across, you don't get people to try to understand, and people will not accept your rudeness. And in the end, you won't get to create awareness in other people. Instead, you may just seed in them animosity towards special needs people.

Actually, if both women paid attention, they'd notice that we have two special needs individual with us. I just didn't want to drag my cousin into the episode coz...enough is enough.

I had to speak up for my brother. I had to explain for him. It's my instinct.

No matter how angry I was, how close to bursting with rage I was, I had to stand up for him. And there's no better way than to do it calmly and rationally.

Everyone who knows this story wanted the woman to know that not only my brother but also my cousin is special. And if I were a couple of years younger, I might have done the same too.

I'm proud, that we all handled it in the best way.

Of course I'm still angry about this. But we can laugh about it already.

To borrow mt's words: "佢食错药"

My bro? His reaction after 20 mins (well away from the woman): "So dumb!", "My ears painful ah".
LOL.
He is puzzled and feels wronged about the whole thing, and a bit angry at the woman I think.
But mt's "佢食错药", "satisfied" him. So he's now A-Okay.

This is a valuable experience for us. Reminds us of a lot of things. Things that are important to us.